Do we really need Courgettes anyway?

Evidently, it has become increasingly difficult to buy courgettes recently in British shops and the country has gone mad!  It makes you wonder why there is a sudden urge to buy courgettes as soon as they are unavailable.

I’ll tell you why….

Despite a courgette being a staple diet to those ‘clean eating ,lesbian, vegetarian book-shop owners, who relish in bringing out their vegetable spiralizer and churning out a plate of mushy green spaghetti, a courgette is also widely used as a sex toy for the working class.  If you don’t believe me..log on to the website….

Now with this shocking revelation that you may have to fight over the last courgette in Sainsburys , (something to do with bad weather in Spain), there is a very good chance that our benefit state may need to spend our hard earned money on a shiny new rampant rabbit or even worse….breed more.

Ann Summers has responded by introducing a 20% sale… but even the most  basic ‘clit tickler rocket’ will still set you back £6  ….and that could mean the bedroom tax not being paid again. So the chances are, another Kanye or Mariah will be brought into the world, dragged up on beans on toast and B&H, subsidised by yours truly.

Supermarkets service desks have been flooded with delightful women with their “I’d like to speak to a Manager’ haircuts  demanding that courgettes are brought back…. (we all know why you are so uptight now)

So …Im not a massive courgette fan….but do we really need them? Will the sale of cucumbers rocket now?

Yes….bring back courgettes…..and quick!

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23 thoughts on “Do we really need Courgettes anyway?

  1. Soul Gifts February 11, 2017 / 12:54 pm

    Lol !!! I will never look at a courgette in the same light again! When I was still working in the dim dark ages of the dinosaurs I ran a women’s health group with a colleague. The participants were all – well, elderly, but not yet in their dotage. So we decided a sex ed session was also called for. I got the delectable task of buying condoms and suitably sized lebanese cucumbers to teach the ladies how to put on the rubber. It was a memorable day in so many ways 🙂 BTW I couldn’t find your *like* button – consider yourself liked !


  2. soulfood101blog February 11, 2017 / 3:28 pm

    hahaha…that’s about right, it serves 2 purposes/needs 😉 so let’s get rid of it.


      • fattymccupcakes February 12, 2017 / 6:19 pm

        “In my language” 😂😂😂😂 DYING! And, simultaneously TERRIFIED!!! A zucchini? Up there?! Nope.


  3. Ritu February 12, 2017 / 12:09 pm

    Oh my … I can never spiralise a courgette again!!!


  4. Monster Mermaid February 12, 2017 / 1:16 pm

    Ha!I’d like to speak to the manager hair!…Love this…Would’ve thought cucumbers would be preferably to the slightly softer courgette though… 😀


  5. Traci York February 12, 2017 / 4:45 pm

    LMAO! It took me a second to remember that courgettes = zucchinis here across the pond, then I couldn’t stop giggling!


  6. itsmyhusbandandme February 12, 2017 / 5:38 pm

    Carrot anyone?


  7. emfletche February 12, 2017 / 8:59 pm

    I think I have one festering in one of the fridge drawers…not to be used for any of their purposes 😀


  8. Michelle Beard February 14, 2017 / 5:43 am

    OMG haha! I’m in NZ…. maybe I can devise some kind of courgette tourism sex toy marketing campaign 🙂


  9. Elizabeth February 15, 2017 / 6:09 pm

    This has me wondering about what goes on in the stockrooms of grocery stores? Is Tammy from the bakery having an torrid, vegetarian affair with Jack the bag boy? I’ve never been so grateful I grow my own produce!
    Now I have to go wash my brain.


    • The Gay Stepdad February 15, 2017 / 7:23 pm

      Ha ha Tammy the root veg hoarder, saving the best courgette (zucchini) for her Saturday night antics


      • Elizabeth February 16, 2017 / 4:43 pm

        I always knew she was a tramp!


  10. Helen Jones February 16, 2017 / 9:24 pm

    This was something I already knew about (how? why? 😀 ) But I hadn’t considered how the current vegetable shortage might be, um, affecting people in that way! haha


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