Belated Christmas gift to the disgruntled Neighbour

As many of you know we love our pussy cats and they love us, but one person who doesn’t love them is our next door neighbour…..or the toilet attendant as we now affectionately call her.

We have got to know her quite well over the summer and one of the girls often plays with her granddaughter. However a couple of days ago the turncoat  ‘bravely’ posted a note through our door because, evidently one of our cats has defecated on her side of the fence. I say ‘bravely’ but it was in fact, quite the opposite, as we watched her run down the garden path, post the letter and then run back to her house like a bad player at ‘knock down ginger’.

Ordinarily we would have been mortified that one of our neighbours was upset with us, if it were not for the  condescending tone of the note that she posted addressed to ‘the boys’. Coupled with the fact that it could also have been one of a plethora of cats that roam our neighbourhood, or foxes, she is now demanding we build a higher fence.

So as not to get into an argument, we decided we would offer to clear said mess from her lawn and get on with our lives, however today, with clearly nothing better to do with hers, we have received note number 2.

The note, more condescending and derogatory than the 1st and with clear intention of action, describes that she has counted 29 deposits.  Firstly, who counts cat poo and keeps a tally?, and secondly, if the cat has done an extra 28 poos in the 2 days since the last note then we seriously need to get the cat seen to….maybe Gillian McKeith would be able to identify the real perpetrator responsible for providing free fertiliser to her garden.

So the moral is….be neighbourly  and ask nicely  and thou shalt have  the mess removed from your lawn…until then the offer is withdrawn.

Foxtrot Oscar

9 thoughts on “Belated Christmas gift to the disgruntled Neighbour

    • gaystepdad December 30, 2016 / 12:03 pm

      The bloody turncoat!! She’ll get it through her letter box if she carries on.


  1. Steve December 30, 2016 / 10:07 pm

    We have a similar issue although our neighbour didn’t put a letter through he just put loads of lemons on his lawn. I laughed and thought that won’t work as I tried that with our Yukka and the cat still climbed to the top and swung all the way down. You can’t stop cats shitting places. Our cat has no shame though…I once saw her perched over the kerb of a neighbours driveway and pissing like a dog!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. guyonlineblog January 3, 2017 / 8:56 pm

    We have a neighbor like this. I did once get mad at him and throw paint in his garden. Needles to say he wasn’t happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Matt January 4, 2017 / 1:15 am

      She’s lucky I didn’t throw a spade

      Liked by 1 person

  3. whispersofthedarkness January 20, 2017 / 1:29 am

    I would agree, 29 cat poops is worrisome. Said cat might have a tummy ache. Thanks for the laugh. I hope your neighbor finds a new hobby soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gay Stepdad January 20, 2017 / 1:33 am

      Oh things got loads worse since this post…she sent her son round to duff us up!! His black eye has healed nicely now..

      Liked by 1 person

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